THE NOBLE THING

As a kid, I always admired the men in books, movies and TV shows who would do the right and noble thing, even if it was the exact opposite of what they wanted. They made sacrifice look good. And, unfortunately, they also tended to make it look easy.
So I grew up believing I could make that same sacrifice and do the noble and right thing if and when the time came. And there were times when I did, in small things and in small ways. And while it was harder than fiction had made it appear, I still handled it, thinking that the noble and right thing was not all that hard. Why didn't everyone act this way?
Then along came love. Not just "love," but "L-O-V-E-!" The love of my life, the end of a lifetime of searching, the one person around whom revolves my whole life and whole reason for living. It was then, and now, that I learned and am learning just how painful and difficult it is to do this right and noble thing, to put the needs and wants of the one I love ahead of anything I may desire. In my mind I know this is the right thing to do, but my heart hurts at the choice I must make and live with (although I would hardly call this living). In my mind I know I can do this because it is for her good and her good comes first, but in my heart I just want what I want, to love her and be with her and spend every moment of the rest of my life with her.
Instead I have had to let her walk way and only wait and hope that time, and God, will somehow bring us back together. And if that doesn't happen, then live out the rest of my days in misery, knowing only that I at least had some small period of time with the love of my life.
I am not giving up on her, or on the "us" that once existed. I am not quitting. I am doing what she asked of me, doing what she said she needs of me, because I still love her.
I am trying to do the right and noble thing, as hard and painful as that is. What I am learning is that it is one thing to choose the right and noble thing, but that is just the first step. The hardest part is living with your decision.