FACING THE TEST

In school, we faced a lot of tests. There were the math tests, the science tests, the spelling tests, the reading tests and then, from time to time, there were physical education tests. Life included other tests too, like classmates testing your manhood on the playground or friends testing your friendship by asking you to cover for them or do something your conscience wasn't sure was right.
I can't say I was ever good at tests. But, unlike some classmates, I grew to accept tests as a regular part of life. I didn't worry too much about them beforehand and I certainly didn't fret for a moment about how I did once that paper left my hand and headed to the teacher's desk. All I felt was relief that yet another test had passed and was over. My score was, well, my score and nothing I did or thought after the fact was going to change that.
The tests didn't end when I left school, however. They continued, even to this day. Work is a daily test, though with experience we get better at taking it. When I first started, the boss was testing me to see what I could do and how much I could get done and still do it well. The more I could do, the more was expected of me. In today's world, the test becomes how much I can do and take before I finally complain and say, ENOUGH!
Then there are the tests I make for myself. When I work out today, can I do a little more, work a little harder, make my body perform at a higher level than yesterday? What can I do to get faster, stronger, fitter? I want to push my body to the edge of fatigue, to edge of breaking down, but not past that point and into the chasm of tiredness, pain and injury that awaits those who go too far.
Relationships also are filled with tests. Her voice may well be asking you what you want to do, but her heart and mind might be testing you to see if you will choose something you really want to do -- which would be self-centered and maybe even selfish -- or if you will choose something you know she wants to do, even if it is something you dislike. Or she may test you by trusting you with something secret, something personal, to see what you do with such information. Do you share it with others? Do you brag about knowing it? Do you use that information as a weapon against her, threatening her peace of mind and heart and soul with it?
If you love her and she loves you, then there is trust and the tests are not an issue and not necessary. And if you trust her and she trusts you then there can be love and the answers to those questions and tests are easy. You keep her secrets in your heart where only you and she can share them and they will stay locked in there forever, if necessary.
But the heart can create other tests to face, tests that neither of you can foresee. Circumstance may force the two of you to be separated for a time and that is a test of both love and your hearts, to see how much you can bear. It can seem overwhelming, but if you can hold on and endure, what comes next can be an even deeper, more profound and more complete relationship than you thought or dreamed was possible. For while they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, I think absence makes us face the reality of our feelings for this person and makes us more acutely aware of just how much they mean to us and just how important they are to us. So that when we are reunited, we cherish this person even more than we did before. So that every kiss, every touch, every embrace, every spoken word and unspoken gesture is precious and vital and remembered. Our senses are even more attuned to their every movement, every breath. Like the sponge that has gone dry, we absorb every precious drop of life water he/she releases to us once we are together once again.
But first, we must survive the test. First we must graciously and stoically endure the separation, still loving them and caring for them and hoping for them and dreaming of them while waiting for that moment when the test is over and the grades are in and we have passed with flying colors. Then, and only then, can we begin to celebrate and continue the celebrating for the rest of our lives.